Silence

一段走远了的过去，一段失去的回忆。本故事部分虚构

I have never got in a secure life. It seems God's always playing tricks on me. And now I have lost my faith in God above; I think the world is caving in...

I become crazy when I reach my golden adolescence, which most people wish to have. I am almost crazy about everything. However I know nothing about love before my encounter with her. She is one of my classmates.

It is in the classroom. We are both speechless at that time. Outside it is raining cats and dogs, like singing blues. But happily inside, we deliver our idea in a piece of paper passed back and forth, risking being found by the teacher; he didn't find ,however. I haven't noticed her before; maybe she has long before kept an eye on me. We soon get along quite well. We spend a good time chatting together. I surprisingly find there's hardly any difference between our thoughts. And now I have a strong feeling about her. She is angel...

Then we often get to spend a lot of time together. I am almost on top of the world those days. I become cheered up. And she now has deeply got into my mind.

Everyday in and out, I gaze at her. And of course she fixes her attention on me from time to time in return. At that time we can't be too aware. It is not surprising I dream of her in my daydreams. At night, it is beyond any doubt that flights of fancy of our happiness together will fill my mind before I fall asleep.

On weekends we get more time to share together. We often walk in the woods, admiring the miracles of nature mama and discovering the abundance of product that grows in the wild. We talk about almost everything while walking. She asks me what is love. I reply in a misty tone. Love is not only a biological activity, but also a universal emotion. The adventures that we go through help building our friend ship as at the beginning, there's loving element.

Things go on smoothly. And life seems full of sunshine, full of incredible wonders. But one day, I get her letter. It is an absolute nightmare for me to get it. It is a farewell. At first, it all comes to me just as sheer disbelief. It seems she's so firm she won't change her mind of leaving me alone. And now I understand that my life will probably be separated from her. That day it is also raining cats and dogs. It is the first time ever I think the world's caving in. Her farewell sounds the end of the world. I just can't be aware what's going on around; I am going bananas. But I just go quiet for the farewell to sink in. It still takes me more time and effort to finish my supper that day. It takes 2 hours. At last, I break the bowl. Of course that night I don't get a little sleep. The next morning. I don't go to the school. Now I am trying my every endeavor to forget her, but I still measure all the pain and happiness she has caused me.

At last it takes half a year for me to recover from it. And at that time my world stops. My whole life has ever been based on her. It is the worst loss I have ever had. I just don't know how I get along those days. I have other friends. But never have I got this kind of nature. I still look at her from time to time. But she gives no care. Later when we happen to meet each other, We both feel quite embarrassed. We are speechless---different from before. I can see that she has something to say, but never has she spoken a word. Nothing is the same as before, the teachers, the students, the classroom, the country, even nature.

A year later, we are to graduate. However, we are not very happy to part. That day, I sing the old song "Scarborough Fair": are you going to Scarborough Fair? parsley sage, rose mary and thyme, remember me to one who lives there, she once was a true love of mine...I can see sadness reflects from her eyes. And there are tears. She is...But we just smile and turn around; not a word is ever spoken.

Afterwards, she comes to the southern end of this country. I still live in the northern part. We haven't met each other again though our country is very small---it takes only 10 hours of bus drive from the northern end to the southern. It is only a short distance. Maybe she is more mature she understands a bit more that this is part of our life; life brings people together then separates them, and distance is never necessarily the end. Later, gradually, I forget her appearing...

Some 20 years later---how time flies, We get to see each other; the first time for 20 years! She is now living in a happy life---She has a good husband who loves her very much and 2 sweet daughters. And I have my own wife and we are also living in a harmony life. Gladly we all keep a memory of our good days before. She just smiles when I remind her something we have experienced before .It seems she doesn't take it as something final from the beginning; it is my dramatic fault to see it in a negative way, leaving only self-pity.

We get to see each other more times, but it is not essential. Now we have a perfect-matured adult friendship where we both feel at ease to talk about just everything. We don't feel a little embarrassed. However, sometimes I feel a little empty-minded when I see her. It is a good relationship which has been established over so many years; it has overcome all the barriers which life and time can create.

Evening falls, night comes. I just feel silence around me. I give my prayer for her in somewhere. Misty moonshine covers everything. The sky, the stars, the trees and of course silence.